7 Ways to Support Your Loved One During the Holidays

The holidays are a beautiful time for connection, laughter, and tradition. But if someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, this season can feel like an uphill climb—for both of you. There’s so much focus on food, gatherings, and family dynamics, and it can be hard to know how to support them in a way that makes them feel truly seen and safe.

First, let me say this: your presence and love mean more than you can imagine. Even when you feel unsure of what to say or do, the fact that you care enough to read this says so much about your heart. Here are some ways you can support your loved one with understanding and grace during this season. 

It’s easy to want to help “fix” things, especially when you see someone you love hurting. But often, the best thing you can do is simply be present. Let them know they are not alone. A hug, a kind word, or even sitting beside them in silence can speak volumes.

Ask them gently, “How can I support you during this time?” They may not have all the answers, but knowing you care enough to ask can be a source of comfort.

Meals are at the center of most holiday gatherings, which can create a lot of anxiety for someone with an eating disorder. You can help by:

Keeping mealtime neutral. Avoid making comments about what or how much someone is eating (or not eating). Just let the meal be about enjoying time together.

Skipping the food labels. Try not to call foods “good” or “bad.” It’s all part of the holiday experience, and no single meal defines anyone. All foods fit.

Setting the tone. Be mindful of conversations about dieting, calories, or weight. These topics can be triggering, even if they seem harmless. Instead, focus on the joy of being together. Talk about the memories you’re creating, the traditions you love, or the people for whom you’re grateful.

Try to keep mealtimes as normal as possible. “Dinner at 2 PM” makes completing the meal plan challenging.

Holiday gatherings can be overwhelming for someone in recovery. A house full of relatives asking questions or commenting on appearances can stir up anxiety. You can help by:

Being their safe person. Stay close by during meals or gatherings. If they need a breather, offer to step outside with them or take a walk.

Creating an exit plan. Let them know it’s okay to leave early or take breaks. Help them feel empowered to set boundaries that protect their well-being.

There’s so much more to the holidays than the table. Help shift the focus to meaningful traditions that aren’t about food:

Watch a favorite holiday movie.

Decorate together or make handmade ornaments.

Play games, sing carols, or enjoy the glow of Christmas lights.

These moments remind us what the holidays are truly about—love, connection, and togetherness. Most importantly, they allow us to enjoy these things in the community as we celebrate the birth of our Savior.

What we say, even without realizing it, can carry a lot of weight. Try to:

Compliment their heart, kindness, or sense of humor—not their appearance.

Avoid commenting on weight, size, or even health. Instead, let them know how much you value who they are.

Steer conversations away from topics like dieting or food guilt.

If someone else brings up these topics, gently redirect the conversation. “Let’s talk about something else—tell me about your favorite holiday memory!”

The holidays can stir up a lot of emotions—nostalgia, joy, and even sadness. Your loved one may have moments of struggle, and you may not always know how to respond. That’s okay. Recovery isn’t perfect, and neither is support.

What matters most is showing up with a loving heart. When things don’t go as planned, lean into grace—for them and for yourself.